December 14, 2023 — Lawrence Sharrett, M.Ed, M.Div., MSc

Counterintuitive Ways Toward Noticing & Healing

Below are a few brief ideas to explore in one’s journey toward wholeness as a person. While one may notice this list is counterintuitive, the way forward for many people sometimes includes a different turn from trying to “logic one’s way” out of challenges. Some things can’t be solved with logic. Instead, such things need to be “experienced” for the lessons outside of textbook knowledge. So here’s the brief, and somewhat counterintuitive, list to consider for all of us who find ourselves on this purposeful path:

Slow down, make space, observe, and notice. Many important lessons with things and people are missed because of one’s pace, lack of space, or inattentiveness. Regularly self-reflect, evaluate, and consider life, goals, and relationships.

Comparison is very rarely a useful thing. Self-esteem challenges ALL people to some degree. Separate yourself from the “lowly living” of comparison and the resentment that follows.

Make some mistakes on purpose. Displease some people on purpose. See what internal system experiences come about from this counterintuitive approach. It is a step toward healing the tendencies toward perfectionism, the need to please others, the desire to be liked, etc.

Do less about it. The “it” can be the things that distress or the people who distress. Doing less about it simply creates space for differentiation from others while further cultivating and establishing one’s own sense of identity and autonomy.

Exercise wholly. Well-being is more than work and the 1-2 things a person most enjoys. Include things that tap all the parts considered important in one’s mind, body, and soul.

And each of these link to one or all of the three core growth areas for all people: family of origin issues, autonomy and identity, and emotional intelligence.

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